Some days, I've noticed that I've had a tremendous lack of focus and mindfulness. I am one of those people that require a tremendous amount of micromanaging and refocusing at times. Part of my idiosyncracies, perhaps. The lack of focus has been starting to rear it's ugly little head the last few weeks and I've noticed that I forgot what my main rule to Bear is and that's simply to obey and not gripe. I've been so caught up on what is going on in the world around me and I've forgotten at times to be mindful of my actions and words.
As Bear's property, I am a reflection and a extension of His person. Getting uppidy and snippy tempered with not only Him but the rest of the world at large is not showing proper deportment and poise. It makes people think that He isn't in as much control as He should be. I remember one time when He was gone for a month and we were bickering more than what we normally do, He said something rather profound and asked me if this is the way that He was going to be treated, by me acting bitchy and whiny, then He was going to go back to treating me like a vanilla relationship and instead of putting me back in my place, He was going to act like the typical vanilla man.
Talk about a wakeup call. Vanilla? What? I can't go back to vanilla-land. My life is ran by the iron fist and strict discipline. However, the last few weeks, I've become a little too complacent and that isn't a good thing. Perhaps, I need to remember that past bickering and remember just what I am to Bear.
I am not His equal...I am His property...focus, focus and smile!
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Another Day...Another Dollar
Welcome to the blog of Bear and Jenny and welcome to Goodwell, Oklahoma. I was inspired by many other blogs to come and speak our minds about life here on the Panhandle and about our lives as a M/s couple, from the most mundane to the more interesting bits.
We started our walk as a D/s couple about a year or so ago, and as life and months moved on, we found that we were progressing to a M/s dynamic. It has been a rather interesting ride and it still is to this day. We are learning more about ourselves and our rightful roles.
I've had some people ask me why M/s instead of an equal relationship in Bear's and my life. That is a good question. I believe in equality on employment but at home, Bear is the leader. I am not his equal, nor do I wish to be. As I was growing up, I was told that a woman is just as good as a man for everything, however, I found that to be kinda bullshit. I dated men that tried to treat me as their equal and some that were just so passive and submissive that it made me sick to my stomach. I found that I was happier when I was ruled over,micromanaged and in some respects, when I became a slave, I became free. I knew what my place is in the home, I know what my worth is measured by, I know that when Bear rules with an iron fist...I feel a lot more secure and happy.
I just don't understand the anti-BDSM feminist bloggers that say that in order to be happy, M/s is not the way to go and that one should be happy as an equal. I work in a predominantly male oriented field and when I come home from the kill floor, I know that Bear will put me back in my place.
Very comforting that place is...
We started our walk as a D/s couple about a year or so ago, and as life and months moved on, we found that we were progressing to a M/s dynamic. It has been a rather interesting ride and it still is to this day. We are learning more about ourselves and our rightful roles.
I've had some people ask me why M/s instead of an equal relationship in Bear's and my life. That is a good question. I believe in equality on employment but at home, Bear is the leader. I am not his equal, nor do I wish to be. As I was growing up, I was told that a woman is just as good as a man for everything, however, I found that to be kinda bullshit. I dated men that tried to treat me as their equal and some that were just so passive and submissive that it made me sick to my stomach. I found that I was happier when I was ruled over,micromanaged and in some respects, when I became a slave, I became free. I knew what my place is in the home, I know what my worth is measured by, I know that when Bear rules with an iron fist...I feel a lot more secure and happy.
I just don't understand the anti-BDSM feminist bloggers that say that in order to be happy, M/s is not the way to go and that one should be happy as an equal. I work in a predominantly male oriented field and when I come home from the kill floor, I know that Bear will put me back in my place.
Very comforting that place is...
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