focus..focus...and smile, damn it

Some days, I've noticed that I've had a tremendous lack of focus and mindfulness. I am one of those people that require a tremendous amount of micromanaging and refocusing at times. Part of my idiosyncracies, perhaps. The lack of focus has been starting to rear it's ugly little head the last few weeks and I've noticed that I forgot what my main rule to Bear is and that's simply to obey and not gripe. I've been so caught up on what is going on in the world around me and I've forgotten at times to be mindful of my actions and words.

As Bear's property, I am a reflection and a extension of His person. Getting uppidy and snippy tempered with not only Him but the rest of the world at large is not showing proper deportment and poise. It makes people think that He isn't in as much control as He should be. I remember one time when He was gone for a month and we were bickering more than what we normally do, He said something rather profound and asked me if this is the way that He was going to be treated, by me acting bitchy and whiny, then He was going to go back to treating me like a vanilla relationship and instead of putting me back in my place, He was going to act like the typical vanilla man.

Talk about a wakeup call. Vanilla? What? I can't go back to vanilla-land. My life is ran by the iron fist and strict discipline. However, the last few weeks, I've become a little too complacent and that isn't a good thing. Perhaps, I need to remember that past bickering and remember just what I am to Bear.

I am not His equal...I am His property...focus, focus and smile!